Returning Home and Coming Out

Hey everyone,

Riley and I are finishing our hike together today, and it is an emotional moment for me as I again say farewell to the Arizona Trail. This has been my favorite thru hike that I have done thus far, and I had little idea of it at the time, but my hike through the Spring and Autumn began a journey of self discovery that has significantly altered the course of my life for better.

I wanted to share something with all of you that is deeply emotional and important to me, and avoid any misunderstandings or risk leaving anything unsaid. 

I am transgender. This is part of who I am, not a choice that I made. The choice lies in what I do about it.

For as long as I can remember, I have felt different, like something was wrong with my body, my place in the world. I noticed at a very young age that for some reason, I was unable to experience joy to the same extent as other people. I accepted this as a fact of my life for 27 years. 

Often, I felt like I was a passenger in my own body, merely going through the motions for the length of that time. This disassociation was almost constant. The current medical term for what I was experiencing is called gender dysphoria.

Due in large part to this mind-body disconnect, I have struggled with depression throughout the whole of my adulthood, and I felt little control over my own life path. 

I want to share this with you, because this is not something that I want to hide. Transitioning genders is me choosing to live my life on my own terms. Transitioning is a years long and terrifying process, and often fills me with uncertainty. This process opens me to humilation, ridicule and discrimination, and I know that this is still the best path for me to follow. Even in spite of this, I am often the happiest that I have ever been in my life.

I ask you to please honor me by using my chosen name, Johanna,(pronounced the same way as Joanna) and use my preferred pronouns she/her/hers when talking to or about me. I also love any variants of my name including Jo and Joni. I am also comfortable with any synonyms for female, such woman, girl, ect. 

Unless I am in the hospital, it does not matter that I am trans. If it does matter, I am a trans woman. 

I understand that calling me by a new name is hard habit to change, especially if you have known me for a long time. 

I understand that slip ups happen. We all make mistakes, and that is okay, change takes time. Don’t feel like you have wronged me if I ask you to call me by my chosen name. And know that my heart is always open if you have questions. 

We live in a time of rising discrimination around the world against all those in the LGBTQIA+ community, especially transgender people. Many of us are ostracized and even disowned by our families by being who we are.

Please remember to see the human. We are all doing our best to walk the path set before us, to live our lives the best way we know how. Please reach out to me if you have questions or if you want reading material about people like me.

Thank you to my friends and family for their love and understanding. I am grateful for you all every day.

All my love, 

Johanna